Some of this is true. Some of this I made up. But, I finally get to the point at the end.
Back in the cold war days the Russians gave the U.S. Embassy in Moscow a token of (whatever). It was a half wall sized wall mounted carving made from some kind of expensive wood. The embassy Security Chief had it checked thoroughly for bugs, but it was clean. However, since there really wasn't any place to mount it and everyone thought it was ugly and stupid, the embassy staff put it in the basement for safe keeping.
Several months later some important Russian guy was coming to the embassy for some kind of conference. It was supposed to be a secret meeting between the U.S. and Russia about some non public agreement. There were a lot of these secret agreements and understandings that probably prevented WWIII, but they had to be secret because the politics didn't play well for either side back home.
Prior to the meeting, while checking in with the embassy Security Chief, the important Russian guy conveyed that he was looking forward to seeing how the Americans decided to display the enduring symbol of (whatever). As soon as he could the Security Chief informed the Ambassador's Executive Assistant who immediately had the carving brought up from the basement. They cleaned it up, and the Security Chief conducted another device sweep just to be sure. It took several men grunting and straining to get the thing upstairs. In what was a nice touch, the Ambassador's Executive Assistant made sure it was in the classified conference room right across from the window the important Russian guy always sat beside. He liked it there because he could crack open the window whenever the room got too stuffy.
The important Russian guy was very pleased with how the Americans had mounted the wooden monstrosity. He commented that it was particularly fitting they'd chosen a classified conference room; a bold demonstration of the hope that one day their two nations would not keep secrets.
They conducted the secret meeting. Life went on. The years passed. The wall fell, and more years passed.
Then in May of 2000, the brand new American embassy in Moscow was opened to great fanfare, and the now retired Security Chief had flown from the U.S. to attend. The ceremony completed, and the retired Security Chief was walking back to his hotel, when coming towards him was a face he knew. It was the important Russian guy, much older of course. The important Russian guy held out his hand and invited the Security Chief to have a coffee.
As they sat at the cafe drinking their coffees, they didn't really have anything to talk about, until the important Russian guy took out a piece of paper and unfolded on the table. It was a drawing, a simplified schematic of some sort.
The important Russian guy gave a wide, bold, smile which exposed his poor dental health. He'd wanted to show the Americans this drawing for over 25 years.
The important Russian guy recalled the half walled size mounted wood carving from all those years ago. It was such a crazy idea and such a horribly ugly carving; he and his team couldn't believe they'd actually gotten the Americans to mount it in the classified conference room, and exactly where they'd wanted it; facing the window.
When the important Russian guy saw that the retired Security Chief had had enough, he pointed to the simplified schematic and explained.
The pupils of the Russian Bear in the center of the carving where not solid. They were hollow, like a drum. Each was covered by a specially treated strip of membrane from the outer layer of a deer's heart; stretched very thin and once treated it's very stiff. Under this membrane were several piano strings that were specially engineered to adjust their vibration.
Now the retired Security Chief was smiling and nodding. He could see where this was going, and he loved hearing the "reveals" from back in the day.
The diagram showed the The Paralleled Beam, (Non-Contact), Doppler Vibrometry Laser, and a small amplifier that translated the vibrations into electrical current powering the magnets of the speakers who's output was recorded.
The Russians had set it up in the apartment building one street over, lasers pointed at the bear's eyes. The equipment was positioned slightly higher than the carving, since the downward angle made the refraction of the lasers hitting the window unnoticeable from the inside.
From the time the wall carving was mounted, until the embassy was decommissioned, the Russians could have listened in on every meeting held in the American Embassy's classified conference room. In the beginning the Russians could make out 70-80% of what was being said. Toward the end, despite significant improvements in the technology being used, the degradation of the Russian Bear's eyes became too much.
If you're still reading I'm semi-amazed.
The point of the story is if they want to listen in on you bad enough, they'll find a way. I think it's more about OpSec. It you don't give them a reason to look, they probably won't, and you're effectively hidden in a ton of noise they don't have a reason to go digging into. I sometimes wonder if the mere act of using certain tools causes suspicion? I still use them though.
Or, I guess we could move to a small country without extradition, and just pay a bunch of bribes. That would probably work too.
